Does anyone else feel overwhelmed by the cloying need for companies to continuously solicit feedback about every single minute transaction?

Rate your delivery! Tell us how we did! We value your feedback!

My inbox is literally full.

But the one that got my attention this week, and left me slightly worried for the mental state of businesses in general, was from my bank asking me how I feel about my debit card.

Feel? Like, really feel?

They might be shocked to learn I feel absolutely nothing about my debit card.

Haven’t given it a moment’s thought.

It works. Hurrah! 🎉

Beyond that I really don’t care. Not one itty bitty jot.

Someone, somewhere, probably thanks to the careless cost of automated customer journey communications, thought that was an email worth sending.

That the very important data they’ll get back will help them make the wee rectangle bit of plastic that is commonplace in everyone’s wallet that wee bit more cuddly, and lovable.

But, as if that marked stupidity wasn’t enough, when I didn’t respond, they sent out a reminder. Like it was actually important to them that I give up my time to think about my debit card feelings.

I honestly don’t know where to begin.

Or about my time being wasted on trivialities. That’s another place we could start.

Or perhaps we could start with wondering what difference my response might make? Will they make the debit card a different shape or size? Nope. Or a different material? Nope. Will it automatically be loaded with more spending power? Nope. Or will it be imbued with some magical qualities, like a double life as a windscreen scraper in winter? Nope.

Fact is, they are probably not going to do anything with the information. Ever.

They are just asking cause it seems like the right thing to do.

It’s an unnecessary prop.

In theatre, an unnecessary prop is something that’s on stage but doesn’t add any value, either to the staging, the story, or the actors. In fact, it costs time and effort to put it there, or take it off, for no apparent reason.

Stage sets are lean, carefully designed for both speed and creative impact. Unnecessary props detract from both.

Set changes need to be swift and easy. Actors need props to evolve the story. Lights add atmosphere and focus. Sound attracts attention and creates ambience. In theatre, every item has a role to play. Stick a magic carpet into the middle of the set of Cinderella and you’ve got a problem, no matter how cool a magic carpet is.

If business is theatre, though, how much weight and inefficiency are they loading onto their audience?

You’ve placed your order.

It’s now with the courier.

The courier has shoved it in a van (paraphrasing).

The van is on its way.

The van will be with you shortly.

Our driver is called Jesse.

She is a Virgo and was born in Birmingham (joking).

Our van is two stops away!

Our driver is with you.

We have delivered! (Woo-fucking-hoo, you did your job, congratulations).

How was your delivery?

How is your product!

Tell us how we did?

Where are you now?

What are you doing?

What are you thinking?

How do you feel about your debit card?

Maybe it’s time to clear the set of some unnecessary props and let us all enjoy the show a bit more.